Category Archives: Culture

On which hand should I wear my wedding and engagement rings?

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People often ask us how they should wear their engagement ring after they’ve gotten married. Here are some options:

1. Wear your wedding band and engagement ring together on the left hand. This is very common in the U.S., and is probably based on the fact that the heart is on the left side of the body. The wedding band is typically worn inside the engagement ring (closer to the heart). Wearing the rings on the left hand is particularly advantageous for right-handed folks, because the left hand generally stays more protected.

2. Wear your wedding band and engagement ring together on the right hand. This is popular with guitarists, violinists and other musicians, and those who need maximum dexterity in their left hands. It can also be a good choice for left-handed people whose right hands will be less active than their left hands.

3. Wear one ring on each hand. (This is what I do.) Depending on the style of the engagement ring and wedding band, they may look better each standing alone. Wearing one ring on each hand helps protect from wear caused by rings rubbing against each other, and it reduces the bulk on any particular finger. Because I’m right-handed, I wear the more delicate ring on my left hand, because it doesn’t get as much wear there.

But of course, you can do WHATEVER you want! Plenty of people choose not to wear their engagement rings after they’re married, or only for special occasions.

If you’re in the market, be sure to check out our wedding rings and engagement rings!

 

“Top Marketing Tips to Win Gay Wedding Business.” Really?

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“Top Marketing Tips to Win Gay Wedding Business.” When this popped up on my blog reader, I assumed it was a headline from The Onion.

It’s not.

This is a real post, published on The Knot’s B2B blog following the election results this week.

The author of this post reports that “Gay weddings are good for business, and with voters in Maryland, Maine and Washington voting to legalize same-sex marriage this week, businesses all over are seeing dollar signs.”

Really? Dollar signs?

At TurtleLove.com, we’re incredibly proud of our home state of Maine, and we’re thrilled about the progress of civil rights across the country.

But we’re not seeing dollar signs.

Even before the elections this week, TurtleLove.com customers were an independent-minded bunch. Gay or straight, legally recognized or not, our customers already commemorate their commitments with engagement and wedding rings that are personally meaningful.

So we sell engagement rings for men and women – gay and straight.

We sell wedding bands to straight couples and to gay couples – people celebrating their relationships whether or not they’re legally recognized.

We’re ecstatic about the advance of legally-recognized same-sex marriage in Maine, Maryland, and Washington, but it’s not because we think it’s going to pad our wallets. It’s because we’re excited to be witnessing and participating in civil rights history.

Celebrity wedding porn and the rule of law

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With the recent interest in celebrity weddings reaching a heightened pitch, Turtle Love Co.‘s Head Honcho Adrianne takes a look at why we care about how famous people choose to tie the knot.

 

Jennifer Aniston’s getting married. Brad and Angelina might be getting married too. Why do we care? Natalie Portman married Benjamin Millepied this month. It’s hard to have ZERO interest in this topic. But why?
Newlyweds Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied

Newlyweds Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied

As a young lawyer, I had the privilege to clerk for federal district court judges for two years. As I sat in grandiose courtrooms, I pondered the value of the imposing architecture, the apparently antiquated customs (such as standing when the judge or jury enters the courtroom), the judge’s long black robes. It became clear that one of the important roles that the courts play in our lives is to provide the APPEARANCE of justice, and the finality of an outcome.

 

Let me be clear: in all of my work in the federal courts, I was consistently impressed and inspired by the dedication of everyone in the system - judges, clerks, juries, staff - to promoting a just outcome. But a just outcome alone isn’t enough - a decision rendered on a Post-It note by a clerk behind the window at the DMV won’t have the same impact as one declared by a judge in a black robe behind a huge desk in a stately courtroom.
Edward T. Gignoux U.S. Courthouse, Portland, ME

Edward T. Gignoux U.S. Courthouse, Portland, ME

Decisions rendered by the courts with authority and finality help us organize our lives. Even if the outcome is not favorable to a particular litigant, at least that person can accept the issue as settled and move on to sorting out life as it then stands. And the outcome of litigation serves as an example and establishes guidelines for non-litigant members of the community.

 

Though they seem frivolous, reports about celebrity “events” have similar value in helping us evaluate and process events in our own lives. (“Ooh, that’s cool that Natalie Portman had macarons at her wedding. I like macarons, maybe I’ll serve them at my next party.”) (“Ooh, her house is nicer than mine… but my house is pretty nice considering I don’t earn millions for each film I act in and have to clean it myself.”) (“That engagement ring is really unique - I like the idea of having something out-of-the-ordinary.”) (“Wow, that’s a really messed up situation. I’m glad that didn’t happen to me.”) (“Wow, I’m glad someone else’s life is just as confused as mine.”)

 

Celebrity reports help us feel the perverse comfort in knowing things are working out for us even when they aren’t working out for others - schadenfreude. We can compare the dramas in our own lives to the dramas in the lives of celebrities, people we know-but-don’t-know. And we experience culture - the shared understanding or experience with members of our community outside our immediate social circles.
The newly engaged couple, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

The newly engaged couple, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

Obviously, mean-spirited or meddling celebrity reports are cruel and not constructive. But knowing about and being interested in the cultural events created by well-known people isn’t all mush. Like a judicial decision, there’s substance in celebrity events that helps us identify with others within our culture and filter our own life experience.

 

(But it’s still ok if you want to hide your copy of People inside an issue of The Economist.)

Vintage Ringspiration

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One of my favorite jobs at Turtle Love Co. is creating the listings for our vintage rings. I get to photograph and describe beautiful works of art made from metal and stone – little round symbols of love and commitment – and make them as stunning on your computer screen as they are in person using imagery and words.

As much as I love to photograph, I think my favorite thing to do is name the pieces. The first batch of rings I got to name, I named after members of my family. The recently sold Paulina, one of my favorites, is named for a variation of my mother’s middle name, Pauline. The Josephine was named after my husband, Joe. The Lucille is named after my aunt, and Rochelle is my cousin’s middle name.

For the next batch, I decided to use the names of some of my favorite women in music. Regina is named for Regina Spektor, Joan for Joan Jett, Etta for Etta James. I love to match the names I have in mind to the style and feel of each ring.

I decided to use this blog entry as an opportunity to preview three of twelve new vintage rings I’ve currently named and will be putting up on the site within the next week or so. This time around, the names are based on female fine artists throughout history.

We’ll go in chronological order, beginning with the Clara. The Clara Vintage Diamond Engagement Ring is named after Clara Peeters, a Flemish painter born in 1594. You may have never heard of her because, like most other remarkable women in history, the fact that she was a woman prevented her from being as renowned as she should have been. But her work speaks for itself – the way she was able to render details in her still-life and floral paintings is truly remarkable. I chose Clara for the name of this ring because of its exquisite detail and floral motif.

Next up is the Elisabetta Diamond Vintage Engagement Ring, named for Elisabetta Sirani, an Italian Baroque painter born in 1638. Sirani died young, at only 27 years of age, but her breadth as an artist is remarkable. She had completed almost 100 works of art by the time she was 17, and doubled that amount by the time she died. Like many Italian Baroque painters, many of her works were very large in scale and used a lot of Christian imagery. What is most remarkable is that this young woman supported her parents and her siblings with her artwork. I chose Elisabetta as the name for this ring because of its simple, strong, and elegant presence.

Lastly, we skip a few hundred years to the Louise Vintage Diamond Engagement Ring, named for Louise Nevelson. Nevelson, a modern American sculptor, was born in Russia in 1899 and moved to the United States (Maine, even!) at age 6. Nevelson is known for her large-scale wooden wall pieces and outdoor sculptures, and was first inspired to be an artist when she saw a sculpture of Joan of Arc at age 9. Nevelson believed that art should be an expression of the individual, and not something that should be categorized as masculine or feminine. Her pieces were large, dark and intimidating – against the grain for a female artist. She is revered as a pioneer in the feminist art movement for her ideals and her unique artistic vision. I chose Louise as the name for this ring based on its tall, sculptural quality and commanding presence.

Other artists I’ve named rings after in this upcoming batch are Mary Cassatt, Frida Kahlo, Georgia O’Keeffe, Lavina Teerlinc, and Mariette Robusti, to name a few. Make sure to check our site regularly for new vintage rings – you may even be able to guess which remarkable women the rings are named after.

How finding my inner Dude helped me love my wedding day: 5 easy steps - Alicia

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My wedding ended up being the complete opposite of everything I wanted, right down to the smallest details. I wanted an indoor winter wedding with 20-30 guests - I ended up with an outdoor summer wedding with a guest list of over 150. I wanted my husband and his groomsmen to wear grey suits, and they ended up with black tuxedos. I wanted tulips and got hydrangeas. The list goes on and on.

This sounds like the perfect recipe for a grade-A bridezilla, right?

Fortunately for myself and everyone involved in helping me plan my wedding, I was able to quiet the beast and rouse my inner Dude.

If you haven’t seen a little film called The Big Lebowski, you don’t know what I’m talking about and you have my sympathy. Do yourself a favor and see it. See it twice, even if you don’t like it the first time. Like many of the most delightful things in life, The Big Lebowski is a masterpiece that gets better with age.

Without giving away any major spoilers, I will outline the premise of the movie and give you a little glimpse into the essence of one of film’s most awesome (even inspirational!) characters.

The Big Lebowski’s protagonist is The Dude - given name Jeffrey Lebowski - played by Jeff Bridges. The Dude gets roughed-up and threatened by two thugs who break into his house, looking to collect money from a local millionaire who happens to have the same name. It doesn’t take them long to figure out that he is not the millionaire Lebowski, based on his meager dwelling and unaffected attitude, but one of them takes the opportunity to relieve himself on The Dude’s rug before exiting the scene.

The Dude is a man so laid-back, so mellow that he hardly musters a reaction throughout the entire ordeal. The only emotion he shows is disappointment that his rug - which really brought the room together - has been ruined. After speaking with his bowling buddies (played brilliantly by John Goodman and Steve Buscemi) over the course of a game, he decides to confront The Big Lebowski and ask to be reimbursed for his ruined rug. As is the case for most movies, he gets more than he bargained for.

As an ambitious perfectionist, and a lady with an anxious demeanor, The Dude is my polar opposite in almost every respect - and just who I need to channel when I’m at my most stressed.

Without further ado, I present to you:

5 Ways to Combat Wedding Woes, Inspired by The Dude:

1. Go bowling.

Your flowers aren’t important. The caterers don’t exist. The bridesmaids dresses are a distant memory - your goal is to knock over 10 little white pins. If you can’t leave the wedding world behind you for a few strings, try imagining each pin as a particularly difficult member of your family.

2. Whip up some white russians.

Listen, I’m in no way implying that alcohol should be used to alter your mood or solve your problems, I just think the white russian is the most delicious beverage on the planet. Enjoy the creamy goodness.

3. Spend time in your pajamas.

The Dude constantly looks like he just rolled out of bed, because I’m fairly certain he always just has. If everything is bananas and nothing is going right, take a day to chill out in your pjs and ignore all the crazy for a while.

4. Go for a drive.

This helped me a lot during my most stressed-out moments. It doesn’t matter where you go - just go. Focus on the road, listen to music, and don’t look at the time. Just drive and clear your mind. Things will seem simpler after you’re spent some time on the road.

Lastly, and most importantly:

5. Don’t give a $&#%.

I can’t stress this enough. As a person who cares too much about the inconsequential, I can tell you that the main reason I loved my wedding is because I made the conscious decision to let the little things go. I decided to accept what I couldn’t control - which, when you’re planning a wedding, is a LOT - and realize that whatever choices ended up being made, the day would turn out amazing.

The flowers weren’t what I wanted, but I knew they would be pretty anyway, so I went with it. The dress styles I liked best didn’t come in my size, but I knew I could make any dress work with some tailoring. The food, the location, the tuxes, everything - not getting my number one choice for any of those things was SO not the end of the world. In reality, a lot of the compromises ended up being just as special and beautiful as what I originally wanted. The more perspective you have, and the more you consider what is best for your own sanity and wallet, the happier you will be.

If you’re anything like me, your own wedding day will be amazing because the most important choice you’ve made is who you’re walking down the aisle to, or who is walking down the aisle to you: The person who brings your room together.

Turtle Love Co. at home: where to eat in Portland, Maine

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Here at Turtle Love Co. we’re lucky enough to sell our artisan jewelry, vintage engagement rings, and eco friendly jewelry from an office in the very cool city of Portland, Maine. There are hundreds of cool things to do in our little city and to give you a selection of the best of those things we’ve asked the equally cool local members of the Vintage Style Council to recommend their favorites local recreational activities, places to eat, and places to shop. In this post, Ashley from Sweet William, Laura S. from Fore Front Fashion, Julia from Jeeze Julia, Laura D. from Sweeter Salt, and Erin from Just Plain Lovely tell you where to find the best food and drinks in Portland, Maine:

The Front Room-Laura D. says: “I just love their breakfast, the omelet with smoked salmon with goat cheese (and a biscuit) is my favorite.”

J’s Oyster Bar-Ashley says to visit J’s “for ‘real’ Maine food (aka, seafood)”

One Fifty Ate-Laura S. says: “My last breakfast on earth would be their hippi everything bagel. I dream about it.”

Pai Men Miyake Noodle Bar

Green Elephant- Erin says: “This is my go-to dinner spot in Portland! Whether you’re a vegetarian or not, the food is amazing, the people are always friendly and I love the simple décor. Try the fresh rolls — you won’t be disappointed!”

Five Fifty-Five

Otto Pizza - Laura D. says: “As a former New Yorker I’m particular about my pizza, but theirs is my favorite in the world. Love the mashed potato bacon and BBQ pulled pork and mango.”

The Public Market House

Hot Suppa!-Erin says: “This is my favorite place for brunch. No frills good food with a Maine accent to boot.”

King of the Roll

Rosemont Munjoy Hill-Erin says: “ I lived on Morning Street in the East End for a year after I first moved back to Maine. Having a spot with great pastries, an excellent wine selection and all sorts of other goodies within walking distance always reminded me of my beloved Brooklyn! Plus, Hilltop coffee is right next door which makes for an amazing duo.”

Market Street Eats

West End Deli- Julia says: “Seriously, they have everything. A huge selection of beers, wines, and mead, made close to home as well as imported…There’s a deli counter in the back where you can order delicious soups, salads, and sandwiches, and up front they have everything from cat food to bandaids with a little station for hot coffee as well.”

Grace- Laura S. says to visit Grace “for their desserts, cocktails and ambiance”

Bard Coffee

Sonny’s- Ashley says to visit Sonny’s for their “amazing cocktails”

Ruski’s Tavern

The Dogfish Cafe

Coffee By Design- Julia says: “To me, Coffee By Design embodies what it is to live in Portland. It’s a comfortable, friendly environment with patrons and baristas alike who believe in the power of the local economy.”

Novare Res

Hilltop Coffee

 

Staff picks

Aubin- Food: “definitely Silly’s! Their abdullah wraps and fried pickles are delicious and they have a well thought out allergy-friendly selection on their menu.” Drinks: “Dobrá Tea is a great place to go if you want a real cup of tea in a quiet teahouse atmosphere. They also have a good selection of treats to snack on, including some excellent candied ginger.”

Alicia- Food: “Passage to India, tucked away on cobble-stoned Wharf Street in the Old Port, is my favorite place to eat in Portland. Their samosas and chicken dansak are to die for, especially paired with a mango lassi.”

Xander- Food: “158 in South Portland for bagels, Boda for Thai food (and cocktails),” Drinks: “Local 188 for cocktails, Bard for best coffee, Crema for coffee and atmosphere.”

Adrianne- “I love Thanh Thanh 2 on Forest Ave - the squid appetizer sounds weird, but even my husband who hates the very word “squid” loved it. (It’s not cheap, though, so I’ve only had it a couple of times.) Replicating their limeade is a little bit of an obsession of mine. A favorite dinner is the duck breast at Bresca - also a rare treat. Oh, and the finely shredded brussels sprout appetizer is amazing. Boda is awesome Thai food, though the service can be a little brusque. I really like the Beef Massaman Curry. The stirfried brussels sprouts there are also incredible. (Now that we’re on the topic of brussels sprouts, there are pretty good brussels sprouts at Pai Men Miyake, too.) Shumai appetizers and chicken curry at Sapporo are a family favorite. Hmm. I’ll stop now, otherwise I”ll be going on and on.”

A Case for the Unconventional - Alicia

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Engagement rings and wedding bands have long been a custom in Western culture. They date back to ancient Egypt, when it was believed that a ring’s circular shape was a symbol of endless love, and that the opening was a gateway to the events of a life spent together. The ring would be placed on the fourth finger of the left hand – believed to contain what the Romans eventually named the “vena amoris,” or “vein of love” - connecting straight to the heart.

It sounds romantic and all, but marriage has had a rockier past than this little tidbit of history would lead you to believe. Throughout the better part of the past 2000 years, Western marriage was more of a contract for the ownership and control of women than a celebration of love and partnership. As a woman, and a feminist to boot, it can be difficult to fully appreciate the custom.

Fortunately for me, my fellow lady folk, and really anyone who one day wants to marry, while the symbol of engagement and wedding rings remain, the rules of Western engagements and marriages have changed significantly. Thanks to people who became fed up with the status quo, marriages are now partnerships, and in more progressive states in the US it’s a custom everyone is allowed to take part in and benefit from.

Part of the reason I’m really digging working at Turtle Love Co. is that our philosophy stresses the importance of creating a more open and inclusive engagement and wedding culture – one that supports equality and personal expression.

Some people don’t believe in marriage because of its less than ideal past, but like any custom, there is always the option to make it your own. Preserve the points of tradition that work for you and leave the rest in the history books. Or even better – you can create your own traditions. The more our marriage experiences vary, the more open the cultural landscape of marriage becomes.

Even the ancient custom of presenting your partner with engagement ring is fully customizable. If you are a vintage and thrift-store maven or antiques aficionado, a vintage engagement ring might be the best match for your personality. If you like the outdoors and all things natural, you’d probably like a band with an organic twist or an eco-friendly and conflict-free ring. If you aren’t fond of diamonds and love a flash of color, a gemstone engagement ring is probably more your style. I’m crazy about purple, so the main stone of my engagement ring is a brilliant cut amethyst – it’s not very traditional, but neither am I.

The point is to choose what makes you happy and what feels right - to not be scared of bending traditions and customs in a way that works for you. Diversity within wedding culture is a beautiful thing - it helps create a more accepting climate and happier, healthier couples.